Clutch bags are having such a fashion moment and I love it. The trouble with me is, I have a couple of drinks and put my precious bag down in a spilt drink / on the toilet floor etc. Perhaps in 2015 I'll be ladylike enough to treat myself to one of the two gorgeous Aldo beaded box clutches? For now, I think I could get along very well with the "Worst Behaviour" bag or the "J'Adore" nude number. Or, seeing as I truly have no money (thanks, Black Friday) I won't get friendly with any of these bags. Wahh.

Worst Behaviour Clutch Bag - Missguided, £18

I've been thinking about writing this post for a while.. but kept putting it off as I really don't want to sound like a bitter thunder-thighed blogger. The thing is though, that I have spent so long (like most of us) stalking celebrities on Instagram that I can now whole-heartedly say I'm really quite fond of my touching thighs and genuinely think that the whole obsession with having a 'thigh gap' is just totally mental and seriously unhealthy.

The fact is, I'm a size 10 jeans, so whilst my thigh's circumference is quite big in comparison to say, my waist (or to some of my friends' long thin limbs), they are clearly not totally out of control or majorly unsightly. I'm pretty sure I could loose about a stone and my thighs would still touch - it's pretty much just the way they hang from my hips.

When I was younger I used to dance a lot - at one point for a couple of hours every single day - and I was at my lowest weight... yet I still distinctly remember getting hot angry thigh chafe on holiday in Greece. Overshare? Not sorry.

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that even major celebrities like BEYONCE are feeling the need to (quite obviously) photoshop their snaps and I often think that if I'm feeling like this at a size 10/12 ,how must that make properly bootylicious ladies feel. Beyonce was once a champion for 'real' women and proudly shook her booty round the world to promote her empowering tunes.

I'm not even going to lie, on the back of the Beyonce photos surfacing, I searched for and downloaded an android app with the 'liquify' tool included, just to see what I could do to my own photos. I like to pride myself on being quite immune to media pressure but clearly something got to me subconsciously and made me give this a go. 

(Left: Queen B as we know and love her. B&W shots: Her photoshopped Instagram shots.)

A while ago, a couple of my guy mates showed me a Facebook fan page called The Gap. No really. It's basically a page of soft-porn imagery showing girls from behind, bending over forwards. Putting aside the horrific view of denim short wedgies, I can't help but think some of these girls must be starving and that a few of them have legs that are starting to look bowed. Don't get me wrong, if you're naturally skinny, toned and healthy then YOU GO GLEN COCO, but I don't think a page like this is quite okay anyway. 

The absolute worst thing I ever read on this subject (admittedly on the Daily Mail so we take it with a pinch of salt and a prayer that it's not true) is that some cosmetic surgery clinics in America are offering Thigh Gap treatments, where liposuction and sculpting are used to increase the air space between the thighs. If, like me, you're naturally a curvier build with wider hips, this is surely just going to look immediately unnatural?! How do they even gauge who is mentally fit for this surgery? What do you have to prove - "my thighs make me miserable" - to be accepted?

I'm not at all saying that all eating disorders and psychological conditions (e.g. body dismorphia) are a direct result of celebrities giving their Instagram selfies a bit of a nip and tuck - the problems behind these conditions run far deeper. However, I do really think in general, the media and everyday women need to celebrate 'real' far more. We should all try to be proud of what we've got and learn to compliment each other rather than obsess over who's thighs are thinner and who's got the best winter break body this year. It's just beyond depressing!

(Some proper curvy and gorgeous celebs which we should all feast our eyes on.)

M&S really pick and choose their 'moments' don't they? I mean, overall, they really need to learn to be far more consistent; sometimes you walk in there and see rails and rails of dull and drab and sometimes, LIKE RIGHT NOW WHEN I HAVE NO MONEY, there's about twenty things I'm struggling to live without. From luxe faux leather to bejewelled skinny jeans, and fluffy / embellished jumpers to playful slogan clutch bags... their Limited Edition Christmas 2014 collection is absolutely doing it for me. Yum.

1. I wonder how many times have I snoozed my alarm? Oh god, did I accidentally turn it off!? PANIC STATIONS.. I've probably been asleep for like half an hour since it went off and now I am going to be so damn late. Ha, that makes a change.. NAHT.

2. Right I'm going to lay here all snug and warm and plan what to wear before I get up. I work in FASHION so it's about time I really tried and be more FASHIONABLE. Might even wear a jazzy necklace and heeled boots. Yolo.

3. So I'm wearing jeans, a chunky knit and converse again. Forget dress-down Friday I'm doing dress-down everyday bitchessss. Good grief I really should have washed my hair. Everyone on this tube looks so fresh and well put together. Oh, and they are all getting off a Hanger Lane... Where is there to work in Hanger Lane? Mmm. River Island Head Office. I see, I see.

4. I hope the office door is on the latch so I don't have to ring the doorbell like DING DONG HIYA I'M LATE. I'll just sneak in via the kitchen so it looks like I've been here faffing about for a while.

5. 11am. Too early for lunch and I literally had breakfast two hours ago. My stomach is genuinely already rumbling and I know people know, and they know I know, they know. What is wrong with me? Maybe I've got a super fast metabolism? Problem is, I've been using using the excuse of "having a slow metabolism" to explain the expanse of extra weight I'm lugging about on my thighs for the past five years.

6. Midday. Do I want to go Sainsbury's? YES I DO and I thought you'd never ask. I've been hungry since like, forever. So, what's everyone else getting for lunch? I'm going to go with the flow and be healthy. 'Glorious' Skinny Soup for lunch (again) and I'll drink lots of water with it so I feel more full. Oh, life.

7. I wonder if a Daim Bar and some fizzy strawberry laces totally cancel out the goodness of the vegetable soup? Really, I should so re-download the Fitness Pal app so I can see exactly what I'm eating and get back on track before Christmas. The issue with that app is that you can't lie to yourself or it's pointless, and I quite like living in denial. Maybe I'll just allow myself to get festively plump and sort myself out in 2015.

8. I mean, thank the baby Jesus that another day is over. I've got such square eyes from my computer. I wonder what this evening will hold? I'm a young, single, twenty-something living in London and I should go for drinks / to a gallery / on a date. PAH. Can't wait to get my PJs on and watch Geordie Shore. Howay.

9.  Why does no one else rush in the evenings? No, really, please walk as slowly as possible down the platform and then why not stand on the WALKING SIDE OF THE ESCALATOR? Don't worry about getting your oyster card out UNITL you're right at the gate, that's always a dream. Weird weird weird. This morning, I swear I saw all these fools tutting at people and rushing past to get to work?! Surely, they've got it entirely the wrong way around? RUN HOME JACK, RUN HOME. Hah, a quote from Hook. I love that film.

10. Oh good heavens, who the heck is messaging me at SEVEN PM asking if I want to do something?! Are you actually kidding? I've taken my makeup and underwear off and I certainly will not be putting any of either back on. I'm quite happy laying here, with spot cream all up in my grill, sending ugly selfies to my best friends, thanks.

After a weekend of socialising with people who are ALL sickeningly happily and coupled up (don't get me wrong I literally love these people) I re-downloaded the Tinder app... for the fifth time.

I've got a serious love / hate relationship with it. On the one hand, it's like a really great outlet for my stalker tendencies, especially if the boys on offer have written their Instagram or Twitter handles in the bio bit. That way, I don't have to even 'match' with them before I can learn everything I need to about their lives / ex girlfriends / pets / food tastes / drinking habits.

On the other hand, I find the fun ends as soon as someone actually pops up to speak to me..  hence I've deleted the app so many times now. I know that I've set myself up for this chat by "liking'' them in the first place, but in my opinion, the conversation is so dead before it's even begun. I HATE the small talk of 'so, where do you live" (like, I'm so not going into detail incase you're a psychopath lunatic) and 'why are you on Tinder then?'... I mean, is that not quite obvious?

Also, at the risk of sounding really hideously arrogant, I swear most people can't hold down a normal conversation without attempting some seriously cringe flirting at inappropriate moments, or turning everything into an innuendo. Recently, I was chatting to a guy (no names here) and he asked what I was doing. I replied that I was having a night in with my girls and he seriously asked if we were going to have a pillow fight. No mate, we're not.

Winking smileys, sticky-out-tongue faces and the word 'hun' are an instant turn off, and whilst I'm not saying I want to debate third world debt or American politics, I would like for both of us to speak (type) using proper English and to avoid being called 'babes' - or worse 'bbz' - if at all possible.

If I don't manage to end up talking to a hood rat (pahahaha), I end up talking to a slightly over-keen older guy who wants someone to 'look after' and insists that he 'can't wait to treat me like a princess'. I find this sort of conversation utterly stifling and unbearable. I really don't need someone to baby me and in the end, I need a guy who will stand up to me and say no or I'll take the absolute piss and become a spoilt brat very quickly.

I'm starting to wonder why exactly I've just re-installed Tinder at all actually. The two types of guy I end up chatting to are just entirely not right for me, and I 100% would rather be single than settle.

I've really talked myself out of even giving it a go one last time - and it's just dawned on me that this could be the problem at the base of it all; I expect things to go wrong before they even do. Good grief, I'm doomed.